Written March13, 2008
Okay, I hope this doesn’t personally offend any of you who this may apply to. Wait, on the other hand, who am I kidding? I think that if you know me well enough to be on my friend’s list and read this, then you already know my possition on spoiled children, wimpy parenting and that I, myself, don’t have all the answers. So read ahead with caution if you have spoiled children or are a wimpy parent.
So lots of new vehicles now come equipt with a DVD player for multiple children in the backseat. And if your car/truck/SUV doesn’t have it, you can buy one and stick it to the back of the seat. HUH??? What happened to "I Spy" or "Tick-Tack-Toe" or "The License Plate Game?" And really, how often do most people drive 5 hours to grandma’s house to warrant such a devise in the car? Not that often! What has happened to us as a society that our children need to be entertained, juggled and coddled 24 hours a day? And how did this new breed of parents get this way? Is it just that technoledgy has pushed us in that direction? Is it that it’s hotter outside now than it was when we were kids, therefore we can’t possibly expect (much less, require) our children to play outside on a hot day? Is it that children are smarter now and petty car games are so beneath them? OR is it b/c we are just too lazy, unenvolved or wimpy to deal with listening to them whine? "No, my little darling is such an angle! I just can’t stand to let him/her be unhappy or bored. It breaks my heart!" Again, HUH? I got news for you: Kids are all brats at some time or another. Yes, even mine! The thing is that you have to not just let, but force them to use their imagination and be by themselves sometimes. This time alone, not only lets them get to know their own skin, but it prepares them for the life that lay ahead of them. And don’t give me that whole, "Children have plenty of time to be adults. It is my job to make sure that they are worry-free now." I agree that there are definitely things that kids should be sheltered from in order for them to have a healthy and fun childhood. However, if a parent acts as the 24 hour entertainment commitee, children are just going to become spoiled adults who expects the world to fall at their feet.
Disapline is the same way, but I don’t think myspace has enoughspace for my take on that. I’ll just say that I am so sick of the term, "Boys will be boys!" to explain a grossly misbehaving kid. Yes, boys will be boys... that is why they have parents to give them boundaries and stucture so they can become men. Otherwise, we will look up and have a generation of 35 year old boys, still playing grab-ass and living with binge drinking roomies.
I know this: there are certain things Clark and I see everyday that would get my daughters slapped (not litterally, but pretty darn close) so fast their heads would spin. 1) Mumbling to the waitress or ignoring her b/c their face is in a PSP while she’s trying to take their order. Do you think she’s there b/c she loves people? No, she’s there b/c she’s trying to put food on her table. Make kids be vocal and respectful and thank God that you aren’t depending on a tip earned by ass-kissing the customer’s 6 year old. 2) Biting, hitting, kicking, etc another kid. I am amazed at how often I see Sophie get pummeled at the park or a birthday party by a kid whose parent is nearby just watching. Sure, most of them point their finger and issue a stern (hah), "Now Corey-Jake, what have I told you?" But that’s not enough. Sophie still remembers the b-day party we were at 6 MONTHS AGO when she bit another kid and we left immediately after I made her appologize to the kid and the parent. When we got home at 7:pm, she went straight to bed. Sure she screamed for an hour and kicked the wall before she fell asleep. But now when I tell her we are going to a party she says, "We can stay for cake, cause I not gonna hurt aaannnybody, okay!"
Don’t misunderstand. I am NOT a perfect mother. Anyone who’s been to my house can testify that Sophie has more chairs in the living room than the adults, and my house is in a constant state of "after the huricane." There are questions I have no clue how to answer. For example, I still don’t have a word for what to call "down there." She’s 2, almost potty trained and there’s no word. She actually once called it her "front booty." My mother used the term "sue-sue" and to this day that term and the name "Sue" makes my skin absolutely crawl! I don’t wanna jump right in with "vagina," but can’t find a substitute that isn’t either corney like crazy or just gross. I’m open to suggestions. Also, I have no clue what to do or say when she puts me on the spot in public. Usually, on the spot is where I operate at peak-perfomance. But not with Sophie. When she screams in line at the grocery store, "Mommy, let me see your boobs! I WANNA SEE YOUR BOOBIES RIGHT NOW! PLEASE!!!" or when we go to a restaurant and she orders "Beer in a kid’s cup, please." (Seriously) I almost die and then explain (audibly for all within earshot) that she knows she’s not allowed to drink beer. Beer is for responsible adults only and would she like lemonade?" There was also the time that I tried to explain what Mexican food was so that it would sound fun. I told her that every country has it’s own type of food and we are going to eat food that comes from Mexico... the food of the Mexican people! The guy came to take our order and I tried to order her a taco. She screamed, "NO, I don’t want a taco. I want to eat Mexican people!" How do you get out of that one?
So lots of new vehicles now come equipt with a DVD player for multiple children in the backseat. And if your car/truck/SUV doesn’t have it, you can buy one and stick it to the back of the seat. HUH??? What happened to "I Spy" or "Tick-Tack-Toe" or "The License Plate Game?" And really, how often do most people drive 5 hours to grandma’s house to warrant such a devise in the car? Not that often! What has happened to us as a society that our children need to be entertained, juggled and coddled 24 hours a day? And how did this new breed of parents get this way? Is it just that technoledgy has pushed us in that direction? Is it that it’s hotter outside now than it was when we were kids, therefore we can’t possibly expect (much less, require) our children to play outside on a hot day? Is it that children are smarter now and petty car games are so beneath them? OR is it b/c we are just too lazy, unenvolved or wimpy to deal with listening to them whine? "No, my little darling is such an angle! I just can’t stand to let him/her be unhappy or bored. It breaks my heart!" Again, HUH? I got news for you: Kids are all brats at some time or another. Yes, even mine! The thing is that you have to not just let, but force them to use their imagination and be by themselves sometimes. This time alone, not only lets them get to know their own skin, but it prepares them for the life that lay ahead of them. And don’t give me that whole, "Children have plenty of time to be adults. It is my job to make sure that they are worry-free now." I agree that there are definitely things that kids should be sheltered from in order for them to have a healthy and fun childhood. However, if a parent acts as the 24 hour entertainment commitee, children are just going to become spoiled adults who expects the world to fall at their feet.
Disapline is the same way, but I don’t think myspace has enoughspace for my take on that. I’ll just say that I am so sick of the term, "Boys will be boys!" to explain a grossly misbehaving kid. Yes, boys will be boys... that is why they have parents to give them boundaries and stucture so they can become men. Otherwise, we will look up and have a generation of 35 year old boys, still playing grab-ass and living with binge drinking roomies.
I know this: there are certain things Clark and I see everyday that would get my daughters slapped (not litterally, but pretty darn close) so fast their heads would spin. 1) Mumbling to the waitress or ignoring her b/c their face is in a PSP while she’s trying to take their order. Do you think she’s there b/c she loves people? No, she’s there b/c she’s trying to put food on her table. Make kids be vocal and respectful and thank God that you aren’t depending on a tip earned by ass-kissing the customer’s 6 year old. 2) Biting, hitting, kicking, etc another kid. I am amazed at how often I see Sophie get pummeled at the park or a birthday party by a kid whose parent is nearby just watching. Sure, most of them point their finger and issue a stern (hah), "Now Corey-Jake, what have I told you?" But that’s not enough. Sophie still remembers the b-day party we were at 6 MONTHS AGO when she bit another kid and we left immediately after I made her appologize to the kid and the parent. When we got home at 7:pm, she went straight to bed. Sure she screamed for an hour and kicked the wall before she fell asleep. But now when I tell her we are going to a party she says, "We can stay for cake, cause I not gonna hurt aaannnybody, okay!"
Don’t misunderstand. I am NOT a perfect mother. Anyone who’s been to my house can testify that Sophie has more chairs in the living room than the adults, and my house is in a constant state of "after the huricane." There are questions I have no clue how to answer. For example, I still don’t have a word for what to call "down there." She’s 2, almost potty trained and there’s no word. She actually once called it her "front booty." My mother used the term "sue-sue" and to this day that term and the name "Sue" makes my skin absolutely crawl! I don’t wanna jump right in with "vagina," but can’t find a substitute that isn’t either corney like crazy or just gross. I’m open to suggestions. Also, I have no clue what to do or say when she puts me on the spot in public. Usually, on the spot is where I operate at peak-perfomance. But not with Sophie. When she screams in line at the grocery store, "Mommy, let me see your boobs! I WANNA SEE YOUR BOOBIES RIGHT NOW! PLEASE!!!" or when we go to a restaurant and she orders "Beer in a kid’s cup, please." (Seriously) I almost die and then explain (audibly for all within earshot) that she knows she’s not allowed to drink beer. Beer is for responsible adults only and would she like lemonade?" There was also the time that I tried to explain what Mexican food was so that it would sound fun. I told her that every country has it’s own type of food and we are going to eat food that comes from Mexico... the food of the Mexican people! The guy came to take our order and I tried to order her a taco. She screamed, "NO, I don’t want a taco. I want to eat Mexican people!" How do you get out of that one?
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